Section 08
Not all teenagers enter and exit adolescence at the same age or display these same behaviors. What’s more, throughout much of adolescence, a youngster can be farther along in some areas of development than in others. For example, a fifteen-year-old girl may physically resemble a young adult but she may still act very much like a child since it isn’t until late adolescence that intellectual, emotional and social development begin to catch up with physical development.
Reflect back on your own teenage years, and perhaps you’ll recall the frustration of longing to strike out on your own but still being financially dependent on Mom and Dad. Or striving to be your own person yet at the same time wanting desperately to fit in among your peers.
But beyond learning to anticipate the shifting currents of adolescent emotion, mothers and fathers may be struggling with some conflicting emotions of their own. The pride you feel as you watch your youngster become independent can be countered by a sense of displacement. As much as you may accept intellectually that withdrawing from one’s parents is an integral part of growing up, it hurts when the child who used to beg to join you on errands now rarely consents to being seen in public with you, and then only if the destination is a minimum of one area code away.
It’s comforting to know that feeling a sense of loss is a normal response one that is probably shared by half the moms and dads standing next to you at soccer practice. For pediatricians, offering guidance and advice to parents makes up a considerable and rewarding part of each day.
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