Zharif Safiuddin Bin Abdul Halim (PTM140716755)
Section 08
Until now, a child’s life has revolved mainly around the family.
Adolescence has the effect of a stone dropped in water, as her social
circle ripples outward to include friendships with members of the same
sex, the opposite sex, different social and ethnic groups, and other
adults, like a favorite teacher or coach. Eventually teenagers develop
the capacity for falling in love and forming romantic relationship.
Not all teenagers enter and exit adolescence at the same age or
display these same behaviors. What’s more, throughout much of
adolescence, a youngster can be farther along in some areas of
development than in others. For example, a fifteen-year-old girl may
physically resemble a young adult but she may still act very much like a
child since it isn’t until late adolescence that intellectual,
emotional and social development begin to catch up with physical
development.
Is it any wonder that teenagers sometimes feel confused and
conflicted, especially given the limbo that society imposes on them for
six to ten years, or longer? Prior to World War II, only about one in
four youngsters finished high school. It was commonplace for young
people still in their teens to be working full-time and married with
children. Today close to three in four youngsters receive high-school
diplomas, with two in five graduates going on to college. “As more and
more teens have extended their education,” says Dr. Joseph Rauh, a
specialist in adolescent medicine since the 1950s, “the age range of
adolescence has been stretched into the twenties.”
Reflect back on your own teenage years, and perhaps you’ll recall the
frustration of longing to strike out on your own but still being
financially dependent on Mom and Dad. Or striving to be your own
person yet at the same time wanting desperately to fit in among your
peers.
Adolescence can be a confusing time for parents, too. For one thing,
they must contend with their children’s often paradoxical behavior. How
is it that the same son given to arias about saving the rain forest has
to be nagged repeatedly to sort the recycling? Or that in the course of
an hour your daughter can accuse you of treating her “like a baby,” then
act wounded that you would expect her to clear the table after dinner?
But beyond learning to anticipate the shifting currents of adolescent
emotion, mothers and fathers may be struggling with some conflicting
emotions of their own. The pride you feel as you watch your youngster
become independent can be countered by a sense of displacement. As much
as you may accept intellectually that withdrawing from one’s parents is
an integral part of growing up, it hurts when the child who used
to beg to join you on errands now rarely consents to being seen in
public with you, and then only if the destination is a minimum of one
area code away.
It’s comforting to know that feeling a sense of loss is a normal
response one that is probably shared by half the moms and dads standing
next to you at soccer practice. For pediatricians, offering guidance and
advice to parents makes up a considerable and rewarding part of each
day.
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